Friday, August 29, 2014

正向關係跟成功的關係 - Part 2 of 3



大台真人騷《沒女大翻身》全城鬧得熱哄哄。節目裡眾多「沒女」要醜有醜陋、要惡有惡、要懶有懶。究竟是甚麼令女性成為一個「沒女」呢?當然原因可以有很多,但是其中一個一定中的原因便是自我中心


 
在建立成功的人際網絡角度看,自我中心是當一方為了想在對方身上得到既定利益或想令對方對自己留有一個深刻印象,他會將自己想要的用自己的想法和方法嘗試去取悅對方。一般來說,這做法是無可厚非。首先,主觀地我們大都認為自己的想法永遠是最好的。其次是對大部分的我們,基於天生存在著的懶惰基因,想和表達自己所想的做法是最容易的。但是我們要知道,對方一日見這麼多人,每個人都在表現自己,覺得自己永遠是最好的。除非你的點子或你真的有其個人之處,否則對象只會對你印象含糊。要掌握對方對你的印象,你一定要知道他心裡所思所想才能把握勝券。


在跟別人建立正向關係 (Positive Relationship) 的時候,我們要留意對方很可能心裡想着以下的幾條問題:


  1. 你為什麼在跟我在交流?你有甚麼意圖?
  2. 在你的面具背後,你究竟是一個甚麼的人?
  3. 相比其他人,你有何不同?
  4. 跟我合作的話,究竟你可以有甚麼貢獻?
  5. 你值得我給你我的名片或聯絡方法讓你將來可以再找我嗎?




正所謂「知己知彼」,若果我們能多 step yourself into other people’s shoe,多想別人所想的,我們便能在建立人際網絡更容易「百戰百勝」。


下一篇網誌我們談談如何從溝通方面着手去跟別人建立正向關係!


 


 


轉載自《CThr.hk 中環教室, 21 August 2014
http://cthr.ctgoodjobs.hk/


Friday, August 22, 2014

ALS Ice bucket challenge (冰桶挑戰 or 冰淋城下)



 

 

This is an initiative started less than one month ago from the US.  Since then, a sum of celebrities has widespread this seemingly fun event worldwide.

 

It was just Wednesday this week (20 Aug) that I got to know about this on via seeing someone did it at a football field in Aberdeen and then on the news.  That very moment, a thought came to mind…will I eventually be challenged given the number of students I trained and people I knew?!

 

Guess what, yesterday when I was in the hospital with J for a regular prenatal check-up and in seeing a lot of aging people, a text came to me from my business partner for the challenge.  Hours later, she videoed her 2-years old daughter.  She wore her google and did the challenge…it was soooo cute.

 

Honestly, I thought of making a donation instead of doing the challenge.  Second thought, making donation is simple and meaningful, but for the greater cause is awareness and via doing this challenge, I can reach out more people to gain more awareness about ALS and trustfully will do greater good than US$100.

 

Some background about ALS

  • ALS = Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (簡稱漸凍人症)
  • ALS 1st founded by French Neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot in 1869 (145 year ago)
  • Got nationally and internationally widespread first time in 1939 (75 years ago) by a NY Yankees baseball star Lou Gehrig who was diagnosed with ALS
  • Now about 30,000 Americans have ALS – a lot yet not enough people to gain enough public awareness and pharmaceutical companies’ attention to do research for cure treatment
  • ALS is a serious illness that people who are diagnosed eventually cannot move or even breath on their own accord
  • The Ice-bucket challenge started on 29 July 2014
  • As of today over US$4M donation from this initiative

 

Hence, while it seems like a fun thing to do, this initiative carries a lot higher meaning behind which I highly regard.  Hence, I decided to take up this challenge!!!

 

Of course, what the hack!  Do something that you don’t usually do as life is too short to be wasted.  I thank Clarice and Catherine for the challenge and grant me this experience!!!

 

Now the next challenge is to find the next 3 people to take up the challenge within the next 24 hours (or a donation of US$100 to www.alsa.org).  While there are too many names that popped up in my mind, I ended up scaled down to these three:

1.  Teddy Wong (Canada) – my brother who is an adventurous and my best buddy for life

2.  Steven Hong (Singapore) – my most long-lasting friend since my Canada days

3.  Kelvin Fung (Hong Kong) – my pal, my advisor and my role model

 

Trustfully this brings a great life experience for these 3 challengers and a positive note to others around the social circle!!!

 

Lastly, though there are many fun Ice Bucket Challenge videos on youtube, take a look at this one that will likely touch your heart!

 


Best wishes to those who are diagnosed with ALS.

 

 



Note:  Too bad for some reasons I couldn't upload the video onto the blog.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

正向關係跟成功的關係 – Part 1 of 3


 

「若果我們是為生活而工作,在加拿大工作便可。回香港,目標就要清晰。要成功,就一定要認識「食力」的人,也要讓對方認識你。所以,若果你真的決定回香港發展,第一件事就是找辦法做馬會會員,那裡有很多有頭有面、有人脈的人。」這是我在加拿大一位很尊敬、帶我出身的長輩語重心長的一夕話。

 

雖然十七年後的今天,我還不是馬會會員,但前輩的話卻一直銘記在心。今時今日,成功已再不是單單靠你識幾多東西或擁有多少個學位,而是你建立的人際網絡有幾闊  (Effective Networking)、跟別人的正向關係建立得有幾深 (Positive Relationship)。但有趣的是,即使大家都知道這是重要的 (Important),但卻很少人會投放時間去做(But Not Urgent) 正因如此,近年我致力舉辦大大小小的工作坊去推廣這課題的迫切性。在此想透過三篇網誌跟大家分享一些睇法和心得,希望大家都可以在職場上以及生活上可以順利些。

 

到底甚麼是人際網絡? 要建立成功的人際網絡, 我們要在見面傾談間讓對方因為認識一個「不一樣」的你而感到興趣。那麼我們如何樣讓對方感到我們是「不一樣」呢?要知道,近這七至十年間我們人與人之間越來越被同化 (Homogeneous),你跟我之間的差距越來越含糊。所以好多時候,跟不同的人交談後,往往對對方的印象好模糊不深。若想讓對方給你留有一個好的第一印象,首先你要找出自己的「招牌長處」(Signature Strengths)

 

若果我問你,做甚麼的時候會令你有忘形、完全投入去做一件事?你有沒有一個事件令你感到驕傲?你認為你做得最好的事情是甚麼?若果用五個單字去形容自己,那五個單字會是甚麼?以上問題會幫助你去識別自己的「招牌長處」。要知道,我們不需要同別人競爭,而是要清楚自己的長處來表現自己。當你清晰自己的長處,能在跟對方言談間用充滿熱情的態度去表達自己對一些經歷裡所學到或所以應用的招牌長處,用意是令對方引起興趣和聯想其相關性,從而讓對方想多加了解我們。要成功,我們要讓對方感到自己的熱情,增強我們對自己「招牌長處」的 buy-in 度,以及能伸延長處跟對方的相關性。

 

下一篇網誌我們談談如何有效地 step ourselves into other people’s shoe



轉載自《CThr.hk 中環教室, 6 August 2014

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Robin Williams 離開了…一些體會




 

 


 

Robin Williams 離開了。又是抑鬱症。作為世衛 (“WHO”) 認定的第二號殺手,它真的越來越百法百中。這是不幸的。跟第一號殺手「癌」一樣,患者一般在患病初期,他們大都未擦覺。到擦覺的時候,大都已是頗嚴重。

 


 

失去了一位出色的藝人,一位我的演說模仿對象固然萬分可惜。令我更慼然的我真的深深體會到一個人的性格跟他的技能真的是兩回事。相信喺大部分人心目中,Robin Williams 是一個搞笑能手。但偏偏奪取他性命的是抑鬱!真諷刺。

 

要醫好抑鬱症,既要時間又要用藥,成效還有未知成分。所以我們更應 proactively 令自己跟抑鬱無約!

 

人生不如意事十常八九。人有唔開心一定有,重點是是尋找方法令自己快樂:

  1. 懂得自我調節對事情的看法
  2. 對事情多加接受
  3. 有問題的時候要多加表達
     
    Robin, 一路好走。你對我的影響是無形、但有實。感謝你。
     
    (21 July 1951 – 11 August 2014)
     
     
    My favourite movies of Robin Williams

  1. Good will hunting
  2. Dead poet society
  3. What dreams may come
  4. Good morning, Vietnam
  5. Mrs. Doubtfire
  6. Popeye
  7. …and many more