Saturday, November 28, 2015

鐵金剛也是人


我引頸以待的第24部占士邦電影《007:鬼影帝國》終於上映。這電影系列可真的是陪伴我成長的一個重要部份,因為鐵金剛這個英雄人物雖還說不上是我的偶像,但是他的風流倜儻形象、他那永不放棄的精神和打不死的能耐卻給我流下深刻印象。經過50多年歷史的洗滌,這一屆的特務007被譽為最有血有肉的占士邦。對我來說,丹尼爾基克所演繹的鐵金剛確實是最具人性、「最人」的一個占士邦。歷屆的007永遠都是一個英國紳士,會喝著dry martini,嘴角帶著微笑,瀟灑地開槍或用高科技武器成功殺敵。來到這位007,雖然開槍仍然有型自信,但是也有傷心、失落、無助的時候。他會喊、會鬧情緒、會為情所困,更會為尋找自己的身世而衝動犯險。電影導演和演員雖然把多年以來我對這位特務的形象完全打破,然而也促成三年前的《智破天凶城》成為系列最叫好叫座一部的占士邦電影。

 

在職場上,我們都被公司冠以一個職位銜頭。也因為這個銜頭,我們都會努力享受其權利和賣命去履行其義務,每天營營役役演繹那個被賦予的身份。不知你們有否經歷過,身邊的那位同事,一天當他晉升成為上司級後,原先的那個平易近人的他驟然變得陌生、機心滿腹、忌他護己;又或者一天你登陸一份新工,你的上司是一個出了名的「怪獸老闆」,極度鐵腕管治,令你的前人好似走馬燈般,來一個,走一個。要知道,上司和下屬都只是一個身份。若果我們能「翻牆」超越互相之間的身份,把對方和自己當是「一個人」去看待,跟對方用朋友或搭檔式相處,我們的視窗和關係又會否有所不同?最近在一個企業培訓裡,有一位學員在課堂裡跟組員分享,她的上司是全公司一致公認的「生人勿近」。但有一次上司邀請全組同事去她的家BBQ,那天她意外之喜發現上司原來是一個很關顧的人,也是一個很好的母親。自從那次聚會之後,雖然她們仍然是、下屬關係,但一些微妙的化學作用令上司和組員開始淡化彼此間的身份,讓他們成為伙伴的關係去相處後,一切再變得不一樣。

 

前陣子我歷屆的畢業生為我舉辦了一個驚喜派對慶祝我教授NLP十個年頭。對我來說,如果我用導師的身份去看待這件事,可能我會感到一份被尊敬或「比面」的感覺。但是我在堂上經常說,他們畢業後我們就是朋友,彼此都是 NLPers,所以不應也不需有上、下之別。也正因大家是多年朋友的關係,所以大家都是抱著老朋友聚舊的心態,大家都非常自在、也格外珍惜那份無隔漠的相處。沒有被彼此的身份所規限,大家便能更交心暢談。那一晚的聚首,感覺很不一樣,非常難忘。在此再一次感謝抽空參與和有心但來不到的 NLPers ,讓這個 NLP  十年誌成為我一個「橙色」的核心回憶 (Core Memory)

 

 

 

 
轉載自《CThr.hk 中環教室, 19 November 2015

 

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Let’s get ready!!!


 

It is coming!!!  My annual NLP Trainer’s Training certification program is about to kick start next week!  This program is definitely a yearly highlight for my training profession given its prestige (China’s one and only program approved by ABNLP), the impact of the program (train up candidates to become trainers who know how to train literally anything with confidence) and the expectations from the candidates attending this program (become a bullet proof trainer in their own accord plus eligible for certifying students to become professional NLPers upon completion of the program).

 

As a tradition, before start of this very important 3-month long training, I will tell myself to get well prepared and ready by running a certain mileage as a way to:

 

  1. Get fit as the driver of the bus (that’s obvious!)
  2. Get mentally ready (by achieving my planned mileage)
  3. Get the momentum going for the next few months
  4. Act as a role model to my candidates that it is a matter of focus, perseverance and passion to do well that everyone can meet their target

 

Though definitely not a sportsman myself, running and jogging has indeed quite a few advantages over other form of exercises:

 

  1. No need to compete with others but do to one self’s mind (by telling yourself to keep going!)
  2. Great training for perseverance (as you may want to give up anytime…without people knowing)
  3. Be responsible for self
  4. Best time to connect with your inner self (i.e. unconscious mind)
  5. Eager to meet target and can easily see progress
  6. Can do it anytime and anywhere

 

So today, I made it and have achieved more than what I planned on doing.  I am now ready for the program this upcoming Thursday…just in time!

 

It is important to set a goal that is realistic, plan for it, act on it and achieve it!  It is simple as long as you stay focus on what you want and just do it!!! 

 

If I can, so can you!

Friday, November 13, 2015

Baby Jasper, happy 1st birthday!





 

 


 

Time really flies and just can’t imagine after all the “less than perfect” sleep nights for the past year (especially for J), our boy Jasper is now 1 year old!!!

 

I must say we are very blessed to have such lovely boy!  J and I wish you a very happy start of your life, Jasper!  Mama and Papa love you very much!

輕談性格分析測驗


作為積極和活躍的心理治療諮詢師以及職業教練,我們除了要不斷學習和吸收新知識去增值自己之外,也需要努力尋找或設計一些有用的工具以增強自己的諮詢及輔導能力。最近聽到行家推薦一個性格分析的工具叫泰勒‧約翰遜(T-JTA®)性格分析®。於是我二話不說就報讀了它的認證課程,希望透過它令我更有效應用於我的個人、兩性關係、家庭及職場的諮詢工作。

 

跟其他的性格分析測驗如 MBTIDISC Enneagram (九型人格) 一樣,T-JTA®性格分析其主旨是讓諮詢師和當事人對自己有一個有效和清晰的自我認知、多加對自己的欣賞和方向去處理當下的問題。要知道,性格從來都不應界分好與壞,因為每個性格都有其存在的價值和優點,各也沾不了誰的光。也因如此,一個好的性格分析測驗,一定要對每種性格持中立的角度和態度,好讓當時人和諮詢師能夠不偏不倚、充份利用其測驗結果去工作。

 

作為教導認證課程的導師他們所扮演的中立角式也非常重要。因為他們既擁有對那個性格分析測驗和學問的認知,同時又要教導諮詢師如何演繹那一大堆的數據或圖表。倘若諮詢師在學習裡對某種性格產生了一些不應有的主觀好與壞的看法,他們在應用層面上會好自然引導當時人去了某些想法,甚至扭曲了其分析測驗的固有原意。

 

作為當時人,當他們選擇尋找一些專業協助去解決自己問題,前題很多時已說明他們已經頗為無助或思緒頗為混亂。在這種情況下,他們好多時會加以依賴諮詢師的專業和測驗的結果去看自己和當下的問題。假如測驗結果被標籤為「有問題」,當時人已經脆弱的心態可能會雪上加霜,令問題更難解決。

 

當我們上課時,導師已不只一次提出性格是天生的,改不了。這個性格分析測驗的主要目的是找出其性格的強弱 (而不是好與不好) ,從而作出調適及改善人際關係。但是當導師用一些特定的例子教我們如何分析那九種性格特質 (例如:一對性格相對特質是「緊張」和「沈著」),導師還是不自覺地灌輸了一些好與不好的思想。在這裡我想說的是,一個測驗是否有用,重點不單在於測驗設計本身,更重要是諮詢師有否把當時人的結果標籤化 (labeling) ,讓對方產生不必要的主觀看法。更甚的是,不論當時人的性格特質是怎樣強與弱,也有程度之分和情況之別,是不應一竹篙打一船人,應該因應對方的個人測驗結果而不應模式化 (stereotyping)

 

最近很多客戶找我培訓他們的管理階層如何跟年輕下屬相處。一般來說,社會流行談論「八十/九十後」為「IQ高,但溝通技巧差、自我感覺良好、或者對工作無熱情」,所以客戶希望透過我的課程能掌握一些方法去管理他們。老實講,技巧固然可以教,但首先是不要概括所有年輕人都是一樣。筆者眼見的就有很多年輕人是滿懷幹勁,對工作抱有熱誠,態度良好。事實上,可能年輕一輩仍欠缺了一些工作經驗、對事情的處理手法仍有待改善,但起碼他們大都敢想敢做。所以不論是性格分析測驗結果抑或是管理下屬,我們都應該把焦點集中在對方「做得好的」和「做得對的」東西,而不是「要改善的」和「做錯的」頭上去。這樣的話,作為一個主管或諮詢師,我們便能擁有一個良好的基礎去解決問題和改善彼此之間的相處之道。

 

 
轉載自《CThr.hk 中環教室, 5 November 2015

Saturday, November 7, 2015

What a great surprise for my 10th Anniversary with thankfulness to you all, NLPers !!!









 


What more can you ask for in life?  After 10 years of diligence and work ethics, I managed to complete over 30 runs of NLP Certified Practitioner Programs, over 10 runs of NLP Certified Master Programs and starting my 3rd NLP Certified Trainer Program later this month.  10 years of work goes by like a flash.  Although this can be claimed as a little milestone to my training career, I haven’t thought about holding a celebration of any sort.


 


Tonite was meant to be an ordinary dinner gathering for certifying my 11th MP class.  Didn’t realise they formed a committee and organized a surprise party to celebrate for my 10th anniversary.  J, Jasper and I arrived at the venue and only then that we saw graduates from different runs, even quite a few from my 1st run of the program who came too!  It was truly a great surprise and I was so thankful of them coming and of course, my greatest thanks to MP11 for their heartful arrangement and thoughtfulness.


 


My 10 years business partner, Catherine Chan also attended and went on stage to share our sweet and sour moments and of course, as well as the group from my 1st run of NLP 10 years ago also went on stage to share with the crowd re their post-NLP takeaways.  Of course, I also did my definite “think on the feet” speech…all made the event so memorable.


 


The committee also prepared a video that captured the 10 years of fond memories we all went through.  Both J and I were so touched by their effort and the moments I walked through for the past decade!  It was amazing.  To me, it was especially precious that Baby Jasper was also there with me to witness this very moment of my life and career.  Trustfully he will also feel proud of his daddy and I can act as a good role model for his development.


 


Thanks once again for all that came (nearly 70 ppx) and those nearly a thousand of you whom I met in my NLP journey as a NLP trainer.  You form part of my very important part of the training profession.  Trust NLP has touched your life in some ways and it is there for you to touch others’ heart and wellbeing. 


 


Though I don’t know how my next 10 years will go, but I will continue to work hard, do well and let’s add oil together!