I am currently taking courses on Mediation (調解) : General Mediation in March, Family Mediation (Basic) in April (just completed yesterday with great memories and hence motivation to write this blog) and Family Mediation (Advanced) coming up in May.
General Mediation generally covers disputes arising from commercial and other civil matters (e.g. disputes with landlords/tenants, probate (遺囑), etc.) while Family Mediation covers disputes on family disputes mostly on divorce and separations as well as others such as disputes between parents and teenage children, siblings, etc.).
Indeed, mediation is gaining an increasingly high publicity for the past few years as a conflict resolution process in addition to the traditional, more time and money consuming litigation and arbitration. More importantly, the two latter processes are not designed to address the emotional and psychological interests of the parties involved but mainly focus on the monetary/substantive matters. This is indeed where mediation distinguishes itself from other processes because mediation allows parties to express their feelings and to better understand each other’s interests and needs, which to a large extent, go beyond the $$$. I can really see it taking more of a prominent role in future in conflict resolution.
Initially, my aim of studying for mediation is to gain an additional professional qualification to broaden my range of services (i.e. training, coaching, therapy, couple counseling, etc.). As I just completed the family mediation basic course, I find my biggest benefit is the realization of how important it is to communicate properly with people around you to gain a better appreciation for who they are and the intention behind what they may have done to you. This will help limit the degree of disputes you will have in your daily life BIG TIME no matter it is with your family, your work and other aspects of your life.
One of the learning I find most useful is an acronym that summarizes how we should communicate with people to gain better rapport in life situations and address one’s psychological needs to resolve disputes effectively. It is called “LARSQ”:
Listen to understand one’ frame of mind
Acknowledge feelings to release tension
Reframe to untangle/expand one’s mind
Summarize to ensure neutralize one’s position
Question to stay objective
I have been practicing LARSQ lately with my better half in our latest communication and it is working so well! Indeed, it is ironic to say if the parties in dispute can communicate the way we facilitate them to do so in the mediation process, there are likely much less broken marriages and contractual disputes in this society.
P.S. Maybe it is because of my passion, high interest and the degree of “buy-in” I have with mediation, my classmates voted me as 1 of the 2 best performers in class via participating in numerous case studies practicing as mediators and parties. This award definitely helps boost my motivation in getting accredited as mediator in the coming months. Trustfully via this professional qualification I am able to offer my service to those in need and in resolving more situations where people are in distress and yet finding no way out but to go for the win-lose outcome via litigation or arbitration.
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